


faith healer

by eviewrites



Series: everything in startling intensity [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Parent Qui-Gon Jinn, Fett Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Korkie Kryze is a Kenobi, M/M, Minor Obi-Wan Kenobi/Quinlan Vos, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Religious Content, Single Parent Obi-Wan Kenobi, codywan technically starts in chapter 3, the boys are still mandalorian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28850424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviewrites/pseuds/eviewrites
Summary: "He misses the comfort of light through the stained glass, of believing in the words of the book he was holding. He wonders briefly if God could forgive him for all of it. For his son, for wanting to feel something other than pain, for his doubt.He wonders, for just a moment, if God was ever actually mad or if that was just something Qui-Gon said."or, qui-gon jinn is a pastor who adopted obi-wan, anakin, and ahsoka. sometimes obi-wan wonders if qui-gon wanted kids or martyrs.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: everything in startling intensity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148510
Comments: 74
Kudos: 196





	1. chapter one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **this isn't beta read, so i apologize in advance for any mistakes  
> me: listens to faith healer by julien baker  
> me: hey that makes me think of obi wan

It's a well known fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi does not sleep. There is always some form of caffeine in his hands - typically from the cute barista he still won't ask out - and between classes and his son. something is always demanding his attention. 

That is exactly why Jango Fett was looking at the redhead as if he'd grown another arm, the boy asleep on the couch as if there wasn't an all-out fight happening three feet from him. 

"Boys! Can you take your bullshit outside? Think Kenobi's getting sleep for the first time in three years." Fox, Rex, and Wolffe stopped at the sound of their father's voice, at least having the audacity to look sheepish. Cody gave a snort from where he was sat at the table. not looking up from where he was furiously typing on his laptop. Jango tried tossing a blanket over Obi-Wan, which he quickly learned was the wrong move. The boy opened his eyes, immediately launching into an apology. 

"How long was I out? I'm so sorry, I should head ou-" Jango stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. 

"Kix has Korkie and Boba, Bly went to go pick up the kids. You were only out for about a half an hour. It's alright." Jango spoke in a tone that could only be described as gentle scolding.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, but a glare from Jango shut him right up. He knew he should head out, that he had shit he had to do. But, to be fair, there was no use in heading out until Bly got back with the siblings. He resigned himself to the kitchen, fixing himself another cup of coffee before he had to be the responsible one again. Cody joined him, the two leaning against each other as the coffee brewed. 

"You know you can always say that Anakin and Ahsoka bullied Bly into stopping for food, and you guys can just stay here for dinner." Obi-Wan sighed as he considered that, looking down at his mug. It was possible, but he wasn't sure he could trust his siblings not to end up ratting them out.

"If our father wouldn't actually lecture us on the dangers of fast food and, subsequently, temptation, I'd say yes." He dropped his head to Cody's shoulder, letting his eyes close again. "Plus, I think that youth group he wants Ahsoka to lead is tonight, and if it is then Anakin has to supervise."

"And you?"

"Same as always. Stay at home, stay out of trouble, say the rosary eighteen times for Korkie - I mean, my sins." Obi-Wan's voice was something akin to an eyeroll, tired of the fact that Qui-Gon hadn't warmed up to his grandson in almost four years. It made him thankful for the Fetts, it gave Korkie a gaggle of extended uncles and practically a brother in Boba.

"Do you say it nineteen times if you flirt with Quin when you get your coffee?" 

"Fuck off, Cody." Somewhere in the house, there was laughter.

* * *

The only benefit to the large house was that they could pretend they were alone when Qui-Gon had retired for the night.

Obi-Wan helped Ahsoka with her schoolwork, and was proud of the goals she set for herself in spite of what their father tried to push on them. She was only fourteen but determined as all fuck, and Obi-Wan would be damned if he didn't help her succeed in anything she wanted to do. She was looking into being a social worker or a community organizer, constantly going back and forth between the two. 

Anakin, however, was a different story. Back when he was first adopted, Anakin was a curious thing. He'd been eight when he showed up at the house, a little younger than Obi-Wan had been when he and Ahsoka were taken in. There were still bruises on his face, contrasting with bright eyes. He'd been hardly a few months out from losing his hand, and Obi-Wan remembered listening to the boy talk about making his own robotic prosthetic. There were drawn up blueprints, pages of research.

He often wonders when that part of Anakin died, when that final light went out behind his eyes. He wants to know what Qui-Gon said, and he wants to know what he could do to reverse it.

The light behind his eyes was fabricated now, only on when he was preaching or teaching at Sunday School. He seemed to live on the praise given to him by everyone in the congregation, like it was worth reliving what must of been his worst horror whenever Qui-Gon requested he speak on it. It had begun to seem like the more time Anakin spent speaking at the church, the less he uttered at home. He stopped caring about his classwork, something about how he could get into a seminary because of father anyway. Like he was alright being paraded around as a martyr for the rest of his life.

Pain threatened to rip Obi-Wan's heart from his chest as he saw his brother cradling his son, seeing something close to a smile on Anakin's face. Ahsoka's hand came to rest on his arm, and he let his eyes close as he wondered if Anakin would run too if he was given the chance.

Obi-Wan isn't even sure if he'd blame Anakin if he wouldn't, because he remembers what it's like to be Qui-Gon's favorite. 

He remembers feeling at home for the first time in the church. He misses the comfort of light through the stained glass, of believing in the words of the book he was holding. He misses feeling like some vessel for God's message. Feeling worthy, blessed, special. He wonders briefly if God could forgive him for all of it. For his son, for wanting to feel something other than pain, for his doubt. 

He wonders, for just a moment, if God was ever actually mad or if that was just something Qui-Gon said.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are the odds? Out of twenty. Not even about the degree, I won't force you to tell the pastor about your secret love of physics, but this is purely about you getting Quin's number." Rex and Obi-Wan were locked in a staring contest, and Obi-Wan was absolutely about to crack.
> 
> or, everyone is hounding obi-wan about his major.

"Have you declared a major?" Fox asks, and it's a fair enough question. It's just also one that makes Obi-Wan want to scream.  
  
"Absolutely not. Thank you, Fox." He hears Cody snicker in response beside him, otherwise occupied with helping the kids make an absolute mess of their shared donut. Normally he'd tell Cody to cut it out, but he has it on good authority that the purple icing stains and that's just something he'll have to figure out on his own.  
  
"Bullshit. You know you wanna do astrophysics." Rex chimes in, voice echoing back at him from his mug. "You just don't want the preacher mad at you for somethin' else."  
  
"Denying yourself a degree and that barista's number for the approval of a man who literally believes he's God's gift to humanity. Or at least this town." The redhead shot Fox a glare, only relaxing when he spotted Quin talking to someone else out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"Coming here with this many of you was a mistake." His face was burning, only worsening as the laughter started. It was worse knowing that Wolffe, Fox, and Bly had gone to high school with Quinlan, and Fox could be just enough of a meddling shit to do something. "I would go toe-to-toe with Qui-Gon about the degree before I put myself through the embarrassment of considering asking Quin for his number."  
  
"What are the odds?" A smirk in his voice. Oh, for fuck's sake.  
  
"Rex." Cody couldn't keep the laughter out of his tone, sneaking a glance to Obi-Wan's stoic face.  
  
"What are the odds? Out of twenty. Not even about the degree, I won't force you to tell the pastor about your secret love of physics, but this is purely about you getting Quin's number." Rex and Obi-Wan were locked in a staring contest, and Obi-Wan was absolutely about to crack.  
  
"Before this goes any further, even though I really want it to, the aforementioned pastor and the prodigal son have entered the shop." Fox's voice is low and full of regret, looking at Obi-Wan. He's almost resentful of the pity in their eyes, fixing his gaze on his math assignment and thanking God that his back is to the door. In the corner of his eye he can see that Korkie is blissfully ignorant of his grandfather, too busy laughing as he and Boba feed each other veggie puffs with purple hands.  
  
"Uh, Dad wanted me to ask you if you were gonna be home for dinner or if you guys were still going to be working?" Anakin's voice breaks his concentration, and Korkie squeals happily at his uncle's voice. He looks up to his brother and smiles at the sight of Anakin waving at Korkie. Reality tells him that it's not a question though, it's a reminder.  
  
"We'll be home for dinner. Six, I presume?" Anakin nods to the affirmative before turning and dutifully returning to Qui-Gon.  
  
"I bet he drinks decaf."  
  
"Shut up, Fox." But there's no heat behind those words.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. Typically the only words exchanged were Qui-Gon or Anakin leading the prayer before they ate, everything falling silent following that unless there was an urgent matter that needed to be discussed. 

There was no small talk about their days, no noise other than forks scraping against plates, and the occasional babble from Korkie. Korkie, whose hands were still a regrettable shade of purple. 

Dinner was quiet because you didn't speak unless you were spoken to. Anakin was, of course, the exception to the rule. 

"I heard Rex declared his major, have you decided yours?" Anakin and Rex had been best friends for a good chunk of time, and they still would be if Qui-Gon let the kid have any amount of a social life with anyone but aggressively devoted Catholics. 

"Still deciding, but it seems like I'll go with architecture." And he really could be happy as an architect, there was a certain truth in the math, and the history of the different styles appealed to him. Qui-Gon looked skeptical at the admission, as if he was expecting a different answer. It was tempting to ask, to challenge him. Obi-Wan kept quiet. 

"I can see you being a professor, round glasses and tweed coat kinda vibe." Ahsoka chimed in, prompting a glance from their father. Obi-Wan grinned, something close to a laugh escaping him. 

"Only if there's a chalkboard, doesn't work the same with dry-erase." Anakin got a laugh out of that one too, and Korkie just laughed along simply to laugh. It doesn't take much to make him happy, and a moment of camaraderie between the trio had been rare as of late. "But I think it would be interesting to get into environmental architecture, giving additional functions and beauty to the buildings. Like the parking garages that are wildflower gardens to aid the bee population."

"It's a sensible profession, if idealistic." His father's voice was dry, but the kindest it'd been toward him in a while. "You should teach, serve your community since you won't join the clergy." 

"Teaching was always in the plan." There's a tight smile, but it's not a lie. He just really would prefer to teach about the universe, about the intricacies of planets and stars, about every mystery man cannot yet figure out. 

Regardless, his response garners him a lightless smile and it shouldn't make his heart ache like it does.

* * *

The clock showcases an unforgiving time as Korkie cries, dragged out of his slumber by the storm raging outside. By the time Obi-Wan makes it to his room, the toddler is content and in Ahsoka's arms. 

"I was hoping if I was fast enough, you'd get some sleep." Her voice is quiet from where she's perched on the rocking chair, swaying gently. 

"You're the one that should be in bed, you've got school in the morning." His Dad Tone takes over for that one as he sits down next to the chair, head resting on the arm. Korkie's too tired to say anything more than a quiet "Da" but it makes his heart swell all the same. He wouldn't force her to sleep knowing she was plagued by the same nightmares that he was, chest tightening every time the thunder shook the house or flashes of light filled the room. They sat in companionable silence, rain tapping against the window. 

"Mom would tell you to study the stars, but also you wouldn't have to worry about telling her." 

"Mom would of also moved all of Heaven and Earth to hold her grandson."

Ahsoka's quiet for a moment after that, busying herself with fixing the blanket wrapped around Korkie. "Are you gonna move out when you have to start taking in person classes?"

"Might be easier, if I can swing it. Maybe see if Rex, Cody, or any of them wanna find a place, but I couldn't blame them for not wanting to leave Jango's."

"What if I come with you? I can get a job, ride my bike to school. I could get emancipated, we can both get out of here." There's a startling level of clarity and assuredness in the fourteen year old's eyes and it makes Obi-Wan want to start packing now. The more rational part of him wants to tell her that he couldn't do all of it alone - taking care of her and Korkie, working, going to school - but that's his little sister and he's never been able to deny her a damn thing. It wouldn't be the first time he picked her up and ran.

"We'll figure it all out one day, 'Soka, that's the only promise I can make you."

That night Obi-Wan dreams of their mother and rain-slick roads, but even in his wildest dreams he never quite makes it back in time.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It didn't take long until the group was scattered throughout the bar, all in various states of inebriation. Bly had gone to follow Aayla around, Fox and Cody were off with some of their friends from pre-law, and Rex had simply vanished into the night. That left Obi-Wan far out of his element, nursing his drink as he leaned against the wall."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all i just wanted to say thank you if you're reading this. it's been a long time since i wrote anything for anyone by myself and like two people to see, and it's been way longer since i wrote anything that required planning. and i haven't written fanfic since middle school so. yeah. i just wanted to say thanks.

"Tell me why I got a very amusing phone call from a couple of Fetts, asking me to badger you into getting some guy's number?" 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes at Satine as he entered the room, Korkie settled down for a nap. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes like there was already a plan in place, and he was positively doomed.

"Couldn't tell you, my dear. The younger twins are playing a joke, I suppose." he knew it was a lie and that he was simply dropping a hint that would be ignored, but damn if he wasn't gonna try. A lingering suspicion told him that Rex was behind this, no doubt aided by Fox and Bly. 

"You know we'd all cover for you," her voice was kind, sympathetic to the minefield that was his house. She'd been his partner in crime through the past 4 years, a quiet and stern presence that never backed down from any altercation with his father. More often than not she won, without ever raising her voice. "and I heard from a reliable source that someone is interested."

That caused his eyes to narrow, that glint in her eyes returning at full force. "Would that source be from Bly after he's conspired with Aayla about her older brother?" 

"Absolutely, darling. Heard it right before the mention that there's a little pre-finals party at a bar in the city, one that no one from the church would have any mind to visit. One that doesn't see any point in checking IDs against some stressed out college kids. So, I just don't see the harm in going on a night where our son is here with me and you can catch a ride with people we trust." her tone was more serious as she spoke and it was, unfortunately, a rather well thought out plan. A hand carded through his hair as she moved to gently press her forehead to his. "Go, get out of here. Anakin and Ahsoka will be fine for a night, and I'm certain that Ahsoka would be helping to push you out the door." it was so easy to feel some sort of peace in that moment, always so easy to believe the words Satine said because they wouldn't leave her if she couldn't defend them. 

"I hate it when you're right." was all he could get out, half a smile on his face as she pulled away. 

* * *

It didn't take long until the group was scattered throughout the bar, all in various states of inebriation. Bly had gone to follow Aayla around, Fox and Cody were off with some of their friends from pre-law, and Rex had simply vanished into the night. That left Obi-Wan far out of his element, nursing his drink as he leaned against the wall. 

"Now, I can't for the life of me figure out why someone who shows up with that many attractive men is alone right now. Either they're all blind, or you're waitin' on someone." Quinlan's voice breaks him out of his trance, their shoulders brushing as he joins Obi-Wan on the outskirts of the bar. Blood rushes to his face and rats him out, looking up at the man he's crushed on for far too long. He's suddenly hyper aware of how close their faces are, and his thoughts become a manual process.

"And you came over here in case I was waiting on you?" he quirks his eyebrow, voice impassive as he turns to face Quin. The grin he gets in response makes him consider sending his friends thank you cards for allowing this to happen, heart beating strangely in his chest. 

"I had it on pretty good authority that you might be, which is fine by me, just means I can stop waiting on you." Obi-Wan felt the weight of being under one person's gaze, abruptly concerned about losing that attention. Which is exactly why he nodded when Quin asked him to dance, taken aback by the warmth of his hand and the sudden closeness of the dancefloor. It was claustrophobic, the beating in his chest turning into something more turbulent and uneasy. 

His uneasiness died down with time, drunk on attention and cheap drinks. They eventually ran into Rex, Bly, and Aayla, the five of them turning into a whirlwind. Obi-Wan couldn't remember the last time he had felt this unguarded or happy, so blissfully aware of an ever-present arm around his waist and blissfully unaware of the time. Kix had shown up at one point, undoubtedly to help round them up whenever they started to head home. Heading home wasn't necessarily high on his list of priorities as he found himself against the wall again, his arms wrapped around Quin's neck. There was the possibility of leaving with him, Rex and Bly had even encouraged it, and he hadn't taken that thought seriously until right now. His head was swimming and there was positively nothing in the world but Quinlan and it would stay that way if he had anything to say about it.

It was then that it hit him that he did have something to say about it tonight and he took Quin's hand and they slipped out the bar of the bar.

Meanwhile, Kix was sat at the bar wondering why he had agreed to help wrangle his brothers because goddammit Cody was an emotional fucker when he drinks. It had only gotten worse since Cody watched as Obi-Wan and Quin had snuck out, all his self-righteous talk about not getting drunk in public going out the window.

"Maybe, just spit-balling here, you should of said something before. You could've told Fox and Rex to cut it out when they were pushing him towards Quin, they would of been  _ ecstatic  _ to know you wanna kiss one of our best friend's faces off. Instead, you're damn near about to cry into a neon blue drink because he's probably blowing some guy in an alley." now Kix could of been much kinder about the whole ordeal, except he was more agitated that he had been pulled away from his flashcards to babysit his brother. Cody looked up at him with absolute misery on his face, a far cry from the deadpan look he always wore. 

"That's the issue, Kix." his voice was uncharacteristically uneasy, gaze fixed back on the glass in front of him. "We've been friends forever, and ours is the house he comes to when Qui-Gon's being a dick. I couldn't say anything and risk taking that away from him. I want him to be happy more than anything, and if he's happy with someone else and I just get to exist around him then that's _ fine _ ." Kix was about to call him a  _ di'kut,  _ launch into a speech about how Obi-Wan can make his own decisions and they could get past it if they needed to but the sound of yelling caught his attention. 

Fox was glaring down Anakin, Rex's arm braced against his chest. Padme looked sheepish, a rare sight, as she tried to quell the situation. 

"Anakin, coming here wasn't a smart decision. You're still in high school, you could get in massive trouble and you'd never hear the end of it from your father. I can call you later, we can sort this out, just please go home." Kix had too many questions as Padme spoke, standing herself in between his brother and Anakin. The seventeen year old clearly wasn't content with her plea, arms crossed over his chest. He looked so out of place in the bar, a light blue polo and khakis making him stand out. 

"I'm not dumb, Padme! I know you don't wanna be seen with me and I saw you dancing with him. Frankly, I don't get what the big deal is, there's only three years between us and five between the two of you!" Fox ran a hand over his face, giving Anakin a wholly unimpressed look.

"The difference, Skywalker, is that you are still a kid and you have prom and shit to worry about. At least, if Padme and I were seeing each other, we're in the same place in our lives. Now, get out of here before I get Obi-Wan here and have him drag you out." the empty threat seemed to cause Anakin to straighten up, afraid that his older brother would find that crack in his façade. "You leave now and I won't tell him I saw you." 

Fox's gaze flickered up at that moment, keeping his eyes neutral as he spotted a decidedly wrecked Obi-Wan walking back in the bar.  He felt a silent moment of pride that was squashed by the idiot's timing. Padme, however, hadn't been able to keep her face so neutral and Anakin turned to see the source of her shock. 

The brother's locked eyes and Obi-Wan let out one defeated " _ Goddammit _ " before he had to run to keep up with Anakin bolting out of the bar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> di'kut - idiot in mando'a


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please don't tell dad I was here." voice meek as he spoke predictable words. The older man sighed, looking equally amused and exhausted as he ran a hand over his face.   
> "He's not going to know that either of us were ever here." There'a hint of a smile in his voice as he gestures between them and it looks, for the first time, that Anakin sees the state of his brother and can hardly suppress a laugh.

Anakin was damn near sprinting out of the bar, needing to put as much distance as he could between him and his brother. Fuck, maybe if he prayed hard enough God would take pity on him and let the Earth swallow him whole where he stood. He could dream, right? 

Prayers went unanswered as he felt Obi-Wan's hand around his wrist, immediately freezing. Tears stung his eyes as he willed himself to move, to face his brother. He knew it was irrational but he expected anger, surprised at the overwhelming concern in his older brother's eyes. In that moment he felt every inch that they had grown apart in the years since Qui-Gon ostracized Obi-Wan and put Anakin on a pedestal that he was terrified to fall from. It almost didn't register when he was pulled into a hug, his arm moving like it was underwater. They stayed like that for a moment until he started to feel almost overwhelmed, pulling back into himself. 

"Please don't tell dad I was here." voice meek as he spoke predictable words. The older man sighed, looking equally amused and exhausted as he ran a hand over his face. 

"He's not going to know that  _ either _ of us were ever here." There's hint of a smile in his voice as he gestures between them and it looks, for the first time, that Anakin sees the state of his brother and can hardly suppress a laugh.

"Yeah," he breathes out, "Guess we'd both be in for it."

A beat passes before Obi-Wan finally asks, "Why'd you come here?"

Another moment as Anakin's gaze drops to the ground, swallowing hard as he looks down at polished shoes. He could easily lie his way out of it, riding on a partial truth, but the earnest look in his brother's eyes stops him. "Padme told me about it. Honestly, I think she was just being nice and this was her way of telling me to loosen up. Dad thinks she's a bad influence but she's a good person and she listens when it feels like the world is ending." it's stupid, his crush on someone who hardly knows who he is, and he knows deep down that everything Fox said was right. Was it so wrong to want someone to like him for him? To hope for something like that? 

"I don't wanna go home, Obes. I don't wanna go to church tomorrow and tell that story about my mom. I don't wanna keep reliving it, I don't want that to be all I remember of her. I thought I could do it, you know? If I could be perfect, things could get better. Dad would be happy, maybe forgive you and the house wouldn't feel like...like  _ that _ ." the words feel like they're going to suffocate him as they rush out of his mouth, finally talking like he wasn't being recorded and criticized. 

There's a long moment of silence as his words hang in the space between them and there's nothing Anakin can do but watch as Obi-Wan contemplates his next move.

"There is nothing in this life or the next that would spur that man to forgive me, and I apologize that you're in the middle of all this bullshit." he looks so  _ tired,  _ Anakin notes. Sometimes he truly forgets that Obi-Wan is only two years older and he wonders how much of that is their dad's fault. "We have a lot to figure out, Ani, and I'll get to it tomorrow when I've slept this all off. Now, c'mon. You  _ really  _ don't want to leave the guys waiting, because we're all fucked if Kix hunts us down." there's a small smile on his face and Anakin is surprised to realize that there's one on his face too. They were gonna be okay, so long as his older brother had something to say about it.

* * *

The Fett household was eerily quiet, and Cody was thankful for that. He was sitting up on the kitchen counter, idly picking at the sandwich Kix had shoved at him when it became apparent he wasn't just going to sleep this off. There was still an idle buzz in his veins and he clung to it, focusing on the floating and not on his thoughts. The front door opened and he knew Kix was home without opening his eyes. Thankfully, he was promptly ignored by his triplet and left alone in the kitchen. Well, he thought.

"Are you going to sleep on the counter?" Cody just about jumped when he heard Obi-Wan's voice, eyes opening to the sight of the smiling redhead. He felt a pang of jealousy at the messy hair turning gold in the kitchen light, the bruised lips. He pushed that to the far corner of his mind, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"Thought it was time for a change of pace." he deadpanned, picking at his sandwich again. "What about you? Figured you would've just gone home."

Obi-Wan practically laughed at that, moving to lean against the counter. He was pressed against Cody's side, head resting on his shoulder. "Fuck no. There was never a version of tonight where I went back there."

"Could've called up your boy, 'm sure he would've taken you home." his voice is passive as he offers up the suggestion. His eyebrow quirks when Obi-Wan makes a noncommittal noise. 

"Could've, but he asked earlier and I said no. That's why I walked back into the bar in the first place."

"Oh?" passive. Intrigued, but passive.

"I don't know." he sighs and Cody feels the breath ghost his jaw. He becomes very aware of the man looking up at him, and he looks back at his best friend in turn. There's something in those blue eyes Cody can't read, and he doesn't know quite how to feel about that. "I don't even know if I like him, you know? He's a cute guy who works at the coffee shop that I have like a minute conversation with sometimes and then all of a sudden Rex and Bly are conspiring." he settles back down, chin resting on Cody's shoulder. "It's already complicated, and everything's already fucked up. That's why I came back here."

"You can always tell my brothers to fuck off, you know. Hell, I've seen you do it. They just wanna see you happy, Obes. We all do." The first comment pulls a laugh from the younger man, the sound muffed by Cody's sweater. "You can always come back here, no matter what."

"I know." it's a quiet response but Cody hears it and leans his head against his. Soft locks tickle his cheek but he doesn't move, the two of them content to rest against each other in silence.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aside from a smattering of angst, this is all soft and self indulgent and i will not apologize thank you.
> 
> also thank you all so much for reading and being so kind! i truly appreciate all of it, and i hope you guys continue to like this story.


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think it's a mistake?" the question leaves him without permission, and Jango hears it for what it is. Am I making a mistake? Am I taking my siblings away from someone who could be a good dad, just because he doesn't like me? Something in Jango absolutely breaks at the worried look in the kid's eyes.
> 
> ** tw for mentions of a car accident that results in character death

Days become a strange blur of work, classes, and planning. He's found an apartment near the college that was about as great as you could expect, but it would be a place all their own and that's all he could truly care about. Anakin was looking into the trade school in the city, brightness back in his eyes as he prattled on to Obi-Wan about the engineering program. Ahsoka just seemed happier, trusting that they would be on their own soon. She was eager to pitch ideas and babysit her nephew as Obi-Wan ran around trying to get things together. An extra shift at the library here and there, long planning sessions at the Fett's house disguised as study groups, not to mention the actual finals going on. All of this planning to move out added to the pressure to keep his scholarships, needing any and all help when he was looking at the practicality of looking after Anakin and raising Ahsoka and Korkie. 

On the note of complicated shit he's been dealing with, Obi-Wan and Quinlan managed all of two dates before calling it quits. There's hardly any bad feelings there, and if Quinlan is already with someone else then Obi-Wan is happy for him. Bly is quite literally more disappointed in the whole thing than either party involved.

At the current time Obi-Wan is pacing in the Fett's kitchen, drinking a coffee that had been handed to him by Wolffe with a simple "this will either keep you awake or kill you." It was a rare moment of quiet, everyone else off taking their last final or simply off at school. He had the luck of his last final being at 7 this morning, but at least it gave him this time to think before the plan went into action tonight. 

"You might as well run laps." Jango remarked from where he's sat at the kitchen table, idly working on his laptop. The comment causes Obi-Wan to freeze, murmuring an apology as sinks into a chair. "There's no need for apologies, Kenobi. You're about to tell Qui-Gon to fuck off and you're about to gain two kids, you're allowed to be a little on edge." there's an uncommon gentleness in his words, clearly concerned about the teenager sitting at the table with him. 

"Do you think it's a mistake?" the question leaves him without permission, and Jango hears it for what it is.  _ Am I making a mistake? Am I taking my siblings away from someone who could be a good dad, just because he doesn't like me?  _ Something in Jango absolutely breaks at the worried look in the kid's eyes. 

"You know what was a mistake? Not taking you and Ahsoka in when I heard about the accident. The boys all asked if you two could stay here, they were all so worried. I didn't do anything, Qui-Gon had been hovering around you two since that news story broke and I thought that maybe, maybe you two would be better off with someone like that. Man of God, and all that. Seemed a better life than being shoved in here with all these idiots." to his credit, Jango manages a smile at that. "I remember when you were younger, you and the triplets were a fuckin' force to be reckoned with. You and Rex always the first to run into a fight when you saw someone getting picked on, and Cody and Kix right behind you. Remember you and the twins in the backyard, and they thought you knew everything because you pointed out every star in the sky. I'm tellin' you all this so you know that I've known you practically your whole life, and so that you might believe me when I say that you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are a good person and you've always made the right decisions. Qui-Gon took away that fight in you and shamed you for your love of space and then cast you aside because you made one mistake that you owned up to. None of what you're about to do is a mistake, because you at nineteen are a better parent than a bastard that won't hold his own grandson."

There's something so damn grateful in the kid's eyes that it hurts, and the urge to just deck Qui-Gon pops into his mind. Instead he's on the receiving end of a hug, Obi-Wan uncharastically silent as he clings to the older man. 

* * *

The church is empty and for the first time in years, Obi-Wan finds solace in the way the light catches on the stained glass. His hands are at rest on the piano, mindlessly playing through hymns that are ingrained into his nerves.

He's fully alone in the church, except for the fact he isn't.

He knows that his God is there, can feel it in the everlasting calm that reverberates throughout the room. It's been so, so long since he could even wager a thought like that. He feels that love again, steadily. He feels it when he looks at his son, when he's with his siblings. When he's with Cody, Rex, Wolffe, all of them. How could he feel this genuine a love if God hated him? 

When he was much younger, he had been taught the two simplest rules. Treat people the way you would like to be treated and ask, and you will be forgiven. When it came down to it, that's all that was going to matter in the end, not the opinions and criticisms of a man playing God.

So there he sat in the church he hadn't been allowed to step foot in in almost four years, playing hymns to a God that never stopped listening.

* * *

"Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's voice is permanently impartial when speaking to his oldest son, barely sparing a glance as he enters the study. Obi-Wan thinks of his car packed with his and his sibling's things, of his son safe at his mom's house. He thinks about how Cody had come by to pick up Anakin and Ahsoka, and how there's no one to hear if there's a fight.  _ If,  _ he thinks bitterly,  _ if he wants to fight for the kids he supposedly wanted.  _

"I'm sure this news comes later than you wanted, but I've made arrangements and will be moving out." his voice is cordial, speech pattern a learned trait. He manages to keep his face straight even as Qui-Gon's eyes glimmer in something like amusement. "Anakin and Ahsoka will be coming with me. Anakin will be eighteen in a few months, so any attempt to have him back here will be short lived. Ahsoka is my sister, and I am fully prepared to go to court over guardianship if it comes to that." the look on Qui-Gon's face had long since steeled, completely unreadable. "I'm sure it wouldn't be becoming of a pastor to have to go to court over the guardianship of a child, against her own brother."

"You've been my gravest disappointment, Obi-Wan. You grew up to be so unlike the nine year old I knew, the one who carried his sister for three miles through rain and snow. Yet, still so like that same nine year old, leaving their mother behind as the car burned." Qui-Gon hardly even looked bothered, almost bored with the conversation at hand. As if oblivious to the pain that still aches ten years later, a night that only Obi-Wan carries with him. If there was any shred of sympathy that Obi-Wan could still hold for him, it was buried without another thought. "I will not battle you in court over your sister, she carries the same rebellious streak that you do. As for Anakin, I'll be speaking to my son shortly and we will sort this out." he seemed so sure of himself, rooted in his own self-righteous arrogance.

"That's my brother, and I can assure you that he's already made up his mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...did not mean to update twice in a night but i couldn't stop having thoughts


	6. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment he opened his mouth, no plan on what to say, the door was thrown open and suddenly the apartment was caught up in the storm of Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, and Wolffe.   
> Obi-Wan let himself fall back onto the carpet, staring up at the ceiling.

Sometimes, Obi-Wan thought, it was a pity that the apartment was only temporary.

There were imperfect things, sure. Anakin and Ahsoka sharing a bedroom, Obi-Wan on the couch so that Korkie could have his own room. The addition of a cat, a little calico Ahsoka had named Boga, because Obi-Wan was a pushover for the poor thing. The absence of an elevator meant scaling the three flights of stairs after a long shift, just enough to be wholly annoying. It was as good as they could get, being a last minute sublease, but it was home for the time being.

It was also where he, Korkie, and Boga were currently half asleep on the floor, content in a patch of sunlight that served as welcome warmth in the drafty living room. He hardly registered the front door opening, figuring it was just Anakin and Ahsoka. He was proven wrong, however, when Korkie jumped up and made a beeline for the door, little yells of "Cody!" coming from the toddler. Obi-Wan rolled himself onto his side and watched as Cody picked up the blonde, a strange tug in his chest as he saw the two interact. Boga ambled over to sniff the intruder, and Obi-Wan took this moment of being completely ignored to grab his phone and snap a photo of the scene.

He thought, biting down on his cheek as he pocketed his phone, that he might like to wake up like this all the time. It was a paralyzing realization until Cody looked over at him, something indescribably soft in his smile. Something that looked hopeful and radiant and new, but it was somehow one of the most familiar things he could think of. The moment he opened his mouth, no plan on what to say, the door was thrown open and suddenly the apartment was caught up in the storm of Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, and Wolffe. 

Obi-Wan let himself fall back onto the carpet, staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

Sure, Obi-Wan had advised him against speaking to Qui-Gon, but Anakin couldn't quite find it in him to stay quiet anymore. 

It'd been three days since he and Ahsoka hopped in Cody's car and let their big brother handle things and he had been content, at the time, to leave it all behind him. 72 hours had proved otherwise and he found himself listening to the ringing tone.

"Anakin." Qui-Gon seemed smug as he answered the phone, clearly expecting his call. Of course he would, still believing himself to be the forgiving father and that his son would return. 

"I'm not coming back, I just wasn't happy that someone else said my goodbyes for me." the words are bitter and he stares at the wall in front of him. There's a reason he couldn't do this in person, and it's not because he thought he'd give in.

"You haven't made the same mistakes, you can come home. All will be forgiven, I do not blame you for being taken from me, for being lied to by a man you call your brother." his words were measured and calm, as if he was discussing what to have for dinner rather than his three kids leaving. The absolute lack of self-awareness was enough to make Anakin's head spin.

"Obi-Wan was your son too, and God will punish you for casting him out. And what about Ahsoka? Did you adopt her only because you had to? When was the last time you spoke to your daughter, or did you not see a need for it because she doesn't remember the night that landed her here?" Anakin couldn't help his voice raising and, fuck, he was grateful that he was the only one home. "You called us your children and said that God gave us hardships to teach us a lesson and that's fine, but what's fucked up is having to relive it on cue. Maybe if I didn't say that story so many damn times, I could remember the songs my mom used to sing to me or not struggle to remember the color of her eyes. I can remember her dying with perfect clarity though, and you made sure of that."

The phone was shaking in his hand, eyes screwed shut. There was still so much that he wanted to say, but it'd never make a difference. "If this is a mistake, I'll answer to God later, but I'm sure as fuck not answering to you."

* * *

It's three days later when they get the chance to talk again, the last ones left in the house as everyone else took advantage of the snow day. It's not like Obi-Wan could of texted him about this;  _ hey, quick question _ ,  _ what are your thoughts on me having feelings for you?  _ There's a horrid feeling nagging at him, like he had still been dreaming and that smile was nothing but wishful thinking. 

That thought was still parading in his head when he looked up to find Cody in the doorway, looking uncharacteristically hesitant. There's a long moment before Obi-Wan even thinks to speak, but Cody blinks first.

"I'm in love with you." the words hang in the air for a moment and Obi-Wan can't catch his breath, still frozen when the next words leave the other's mouth in a rush. "I think I've always been in love with you but the timing keeps getting  _ worse  _ and I know you don't need or want anything more to complicate your life but I can't stop thinking about the other day. Fuck, I know it's stupid bu-" Cody's voice trails off as he watches Obi-Wan walk toward him, his own hand twitching to reach out for solace in his best friend. 

"I'm in love with you." their hands find each other, a reassurance. "I don't know how long, but I think I figured out that I came back here that night because I wanted to wake up here. It took me a little bit longer to figure out that it was because I wanted to wake up with  _ you. _ " he's looking up at Cody like he's a meteor shower, that same searching wonder. "I can deal with complicated, especially if you're by my side." 

At that Cody pulls him into a kiss, and nothing else matters. For a moment it's clumsy but it's filled with breathless laughter as they pull each other closer. It doesn't take long before they fall into place together, Obi-Wan against the wall with his hands in Cody's hair as he trails kisses down the redhead's jaw. He's pulling Cody up to kiss him again, a whine trapped in his throat. The only thing that exists in this moment is Cody and warm hands trailing up his shirt and  _ the goddamn door opening.  _

A low whistle assaults their ears and Obi-Wan hides his face in Cody's shoulder as the snickering starts. Kix, Fox, Rex, Anakin, Ahsoka, Fives, and Echo are standing in the living room now, because of course they are. There's no use in pretending like nothing happened, especially not when there are this many witnesses. 

"Thank fuck, now I don't have to hear Cody bitch anymore." Kix is unfazed as he turns and heads for the kitchen, focused on getting the coffee on. 

"You knew about this?" Anakin sputters, completely lost. Ahsoka's grinning, but she does give Fives and Echo a look when one of them opens their mouth. Cody's just silently grateful that not  _ all  _ of his brothers will be able to hold this specific incident over him. However, that loses some of its weight the moment he sees Jango in the doorway, arms full of bickering toddlers. 

"What happened to snow day?" Cody groans as he untangles himself from Obi-Wan, hellbent on swiping some of Kix's coffee. 

"Next time we'll schedule freezing our asses off and a more convenient time for you two." Rex deadpans, earning a snort from Jango and Fox. Anakin still looks like he's trying to figure something out, and Obi-Wan lets his head smack against the wall behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey they finally talked :^)
> 
> thanks for reading! it's so strange heading towards the end of this fic, and i have a feeling it'll be over before the week is out. thanks for stickin' with me!


	7. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about things changing when you're a kid means that you don't have a say in what you get to keep. Adults make decisions without you, schools get changed, numbers get lost, and you aren't told when friends move away. Everyone knows better than you when you're ten years old, and there's nothing you can do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me last week: wow i think i'll have this done in a few days  
> me now: fuck
> 
> sorry for taking so long! work got hectic! thank y'all for sticking around!

_ "Obes!" Garen is running, a vicious grin on his face as he tackles the other boy to the ground. Bant is quick to follow, and it's all bright smiles and laughter as the trio are reunited. Qui-Gon gives a displeased noise from where he stands above them, Ahsoka hidden behind his legs. The five year old waves sheepishly to the familiar faces sprawled out in the grass, and Garen ventures a wave back. Obi-Wan is quick to his feet, brushing the grass off himself as his face burns.  _

_ "Hi Father Jinn!" Bant is ever the optimist as she stands up, and it takes all but a moment before Ahsoka is by her side. Garen remains lax in the grass, grin never fading.  _

_ "Bant." Qui-Gon regards the nine year old with some amount of warmth, and it fades quickly when he addresses the boy. "Garen." _

_ "Hey Father!" Garen finally stands up, unceremoniously shaking the leaves out of his hair. He loops an arm around Obi-Wan's stiff shoulders, leaning his weight on his best friend.  _

_ "Don't you think you're a tad old to be jumping on your friends?" the question is aimed towards Garen but it causes Obi-Wan to shrink. The eleven year old simply beams at the query, shaking his head. _

_ "Nah, just because we're older doesn't mean I'm any happier to see him!" Ahsoka and Bant are giggling to themselves, content to be away from the scrutiny of the pastor. _

_ "That may be so, but I do hope that you can control yourself next time." his voice is flat, and his stare moves to Ahsoka then Obi-Wan. "Come along now, we won't be late." he turns on his heel, clearly expecting the two to follow him. Obi-Wan gives his friends the smallest of smiles as Ashoka moves to take his hand, looking up at him. Bant looks understanding as she sneaks in another hug to the siblings, whispering goodbyes and hopes that they can come over soon. Garen looks almost angry, eyes piercing into the back of the man's retreating figure. He only softens when he feels Obi-Wan's hand on his shoulder, brown eyes meeting a sad blue.  _

_ "I'll see you soon." _

_ He never intended to break that promise. _

_ The thing about things changing when you're a kid means that you don't have a say in what you get to keep. Adults make decisions without you, schools get changed, numbers get lost, and you aren't told when friends move away. Everyone knows better than you when you're ten years old, and there's nothing you can do about it. _

* * *

Ahsoka had always been an early riser, content to come up right before the sun broke through in a haze of gold and violet. Back at Qui-Gon's, it had just been nice to be able to roam around the kitchen without being in anyone else's orbit. Now, it was just nice to exist in the comfort of the apartment. 

Anakin was dead asleep, blissfully unaware of the world as he snored on his side of the room. Obi-Wan was almost always awake, either having risen early or having foregone sleep entirely. This morning, though, he was curled up in a silent sleep on the futon with Boga at his feet. The calico arose when Ahsoka padded into the living room, shadowing the teenager as she went about making herself breakfast. 

The winter had started to pass and it was warm enough for her to ride her bike to school, and she intended to take advantage of that. No more having to be late waiting on Anakin, the two of them inevitably bickering in the backseat as Obi-Wan dropped them off if they failed to make it to the bus stop. It had been a hectic routine to fall into while they were striking out on their own, but part of Ahsoka knew that she was just grateful to have the both of them. She knew it was irrational but with Anakin graduating and Obi-Wan looking into colleges that he actually wanted to go to, she was growing increasingly concerned about being left behind. She'd always been the more independent one, Qui-Gon always passing over her for Obi-Wan and then Anakin, but it'd be a lie to say that she hadn't grown closer to her brothers in the past few months. 

A set of footsteps broke her out of her thoughts, the familiar sound of the coffee machine whirring to life. Her brother looked like he was still half asleep, eyes closed as he waited against the counter, and startled when Ahsoka nudged him with her foot. "I was gonna make eggs, want any?"

He seemed to think about it for a moment, rubbing his eyes. "You don't have to be at school until 7, right?" she nodded in confirmation, giving him a confused look. "Pancakes?" he offered, a small grin on his face. "I'll drive you, I gotta head that way anyway." 

"Banana?" she asked, eyebrow raised as if the answer would make or break her decision. 

"And cinnamon." he nodded seriously. 

"Deal." her face broke into a grin, and they fell into a rhythm of gathering bowls and ingredients. Boga watched them contently from her perch on the far counter, occasionally offered bits of banana. Ahsoka went to get Korkie as Obi-Wan made the pancakes, including a couple tiny ones just for Boga. Her nephew was already awake when she opened the door, wide eyes fixed on the posters of planets and stars that lined the walls.

"You're just like your dad." her voice was soft as she picked him up, immediately wrapped in a hug. 

"Auntie 'Soka!" he was giggling, his face hidden in her hair. Laughing, she shushed him.

"Korkie, we gotta be quiet or else Anakin is gonna wake up and eat all the pancakes." the kid collapsed in a fit of giggles against his aunt, the two doing a poor job of keeping quiet as they entered the kitchen. Well, it's a damn good thing Anakin could sleep through an earthquake. 

* * *

Obi-Wan felt like he was behind and, to be fair, he was. 

It had taken him too long to declare his major, and although he was just about done with the needed credits for his associate's, he was going to be playing catch up with everyone else in the astrophysics program. All the other students who had gone to space camp or done internships at labs or observatories, who all had the luxury of having research jobs at the school and of not raising their siblings or a kid or having to commute to classes. 

This was a stupid fucking idea.

He'd had the hindsight to get a few of the books he'd need, anything to help level the field, and he'd just finished signing up for additional classes in the summer. There were, of course, other issues in the way of financial aid and slamming his head against the wall, but it seemed infinitely more important to just stay here in the research library and stare at the wall of everyone else's achievements. Besides he had given the car to Anakin so he could sort out his own school stuff, which left him at the mercy of waiting on his brother to pick him up.

"Obi-Wan?" the voice made him blink, confusion clouding his features as he turned to face the person speaking to him. It took a moment to click, but then he was unable to stop himself from practically tackling the tall man in a hug. Garen hugged him back tightly, and Obi-Wan was certain his feet were not on the ground at one point. "I haven't seen you in forever, what are you doing here?" the pair were obviously reluctant to pull away, best friends too long separated. 

"I, uh, I'm gonna go here soon. Transferring in the fall, but taking a few classes this summer. Relatively new development." Garen's face seemed to light up as he spoke, still the same spark he had when they were kids. 

"Thank fuck, because you were always the smart one and I swear this program is killing me." he laughed, shaking his head. "We are gonna make one hell of a study group, that is if the Father won't lose his mind about me hangin' around again." 

Obi-Wan shook his own head at that, almost able to give a laugh. "Trust me, that won't be an issue. Truthfully? He doesn't give a shit what Ahsoka and I do now, we moved out." Garen's eyes went wide at the revelation, expression obvious glee at the bit of rebellion in one of the most confrontational people he had ever known.

"Obes, you owe me nine years of an explanation." 

* * *

The apartment was strangely quiet.

Anakin had gone out with Rex and Bly, and Ahsoka was staying at her friend Barriss'. Satine had picked up Korkie, something about how her mother would quite literally kill her if she didn't see her grandchild while she was in town. 

So, it was just Obi-Wan alternating between textbooks and house listings as he waited for Cody to get off of work, trying to figure out what life was going to be like in the next year. There were bits of solace as he texted Bant and Garen, it felt somehow as if they had never spent a day apart. Hints of relief in passages about stars, traces of hope in rentals that allowed cats and had a backyard that Korkie could play in. 

There were also moments where everything was just so overwhelming that he felt like he was underwater, and everyone was watching him from just above the surface.

There were moments where he thought he should pray, find some comfort there, but there were moments when he realized he wasn't sure if he had actually, fully, pulled apart the concepts of religion and Qui-Gon. Even though he hadn't been happy, he had thought he was. Even though he hadn't been happy, there had been a blissful ignorance in being told what to believe, what to do.

Now, in these moments, Obi-Wan didn't know if he believed in something that had been so constant for a decade of his life, so how could he believe in himself?

That's how Cody found him, staring blankly at an incomprehensible mess on the dining room table. He didn't protest when he closed the laptop, the screen having gone black ages ago. 

"Whatcha doin', love?" he asks cautiously, dropping a kiss onto the top of his boyfriend's head. Obi-Wan makes a non-committal noise in response, slumping back into the chair. "Okay," Cody hums, wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan, chin resting on top of his head as he surveyed the rest of the table. "Wanna talk about it?" 

"I don't know." Obi-Wan's voice is unsure, a huff escaping him. He let Cody lead him out of the chair and away from the mess, tugging him down to attempt to relax on the futon. They laid there for a while, Obi-Wan eventually giving in and relaxing into his boyfriend's side. 

"Have you eaten anything today?" the question is out of the blue, but necessary. Obi-Wan thought about it for a moment, and apparently a moment too long, because Cody was getting up. He unconsciously pulled Cody back down, wanting to stay in the sure warmth of the other. It earned him a soft laugh, a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna make you something to eat. Maybe you'll wanna talk about whatever's going on, maybe you won't, but we'll get through it, yeah?" Obi-Wan was reluctant to let go, but he knew rationally that Cody was right.

Boga jumped up in his lap as he wrapped a blanket around himself, resting against the wall as he watched Cody in the kitchen. The lone light cast a soft glow around the whole apartment and it felt just a bit warmer, a little more comfortable. Cody was recounting a case he was working on at work, some civil dispute over a tree that made him laugh and how it was such a break from everything because all the cases recently had just been sad or tragic and the fact that someone would go to court over peaches made him laugh.

He thought, briefly, about asking Cody to look at houses with him, to move with them. 

Instead, he padded over to the kitchen and hopped on the counter and told him about Garen and the research library, and how the first thing Bant asked him ten years was if he drank water today and for Ahsoka's number and how both Garen and Bant had lost their minds at the thought of having a nephew.

After all, Cody was right, all the stressful shit could wait until after they had eaten and after a nap.


	8. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's precisely how Cody found them all snoozing in the living room, not a soul stirring when he and Jango walked into the apartment. Anakin was draped over the lone chair, Boga nearly suffocating him as she dozed on his chest. Ahsoka and Bant are asleep sitting up with their backs against the chair, legs splayed out in front of them. In the center of the floor is Obi-Wan, starfished out on the carpet with Korkie tucked into his side and Garen across his legs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since it was asked and reminder me that i never actually put it in the notes, here's the sibling order for the fetts! (i've had this in my notes since the beginning, why i never posted it is a mystery to me)  
> wolffe & fox (25) | bly (23) | cody, rex & kix (20), fives & echo (15) | boba (4)

Jango remembers the exact moment he started to consider Obi-Wan one of his own  _ ade _ , well after his sons had already made the decision to all but kidnap the boy. At first he wasn't sure what to think of the kid, all red hair and glasses with a backpack that dwarfed his frame. The eleven year old prayed before every meal, seemingly unbothered by the chaos that erupted at the dinner table. That same eleven year old that would end up sitting side by side with Fox, getting stitches at the dining room table because he would rather die than tell his father he got in a fight over someone picking on his sister and the twins. No, it wasn't until a few months after Boba was born that Jango would realize that he had long since adopted two more kids. 

It was late, closing in on 2 am as Obi-Wan and the triplets worked on their project. Jango was still awake with a sleepless Boba, his youngest son apparently eager to overtake Fives and Echo's place as the loudest of his  _ ade _ . Obi-Wan had shown up in the doorway of the nursery, worry etched into his brow. Jango didn't get the chance to speak before the sixteen year old approached him, holding his arms out for the crying baby. Boba stopped crying momentarily to look quizzically at Obi-Wan, hands reaching up curiously. The teenager doesn't look up as he speaks, caught up in a trance.

"I'm gonna be a dad." there's so much more there, so much that he just wants to scream and sob. He doesn't though, just keeps his attention on the baby that looks just so enraptured by the world. He wants to talk about how he's scared to go home, that he'll freeze in the wake of Qui-Gon's cold shoulder, how he's scared that there's going to be a whole other person that relies on him. Those thoughts are pushed to the back of his mind when Boba's little fist wraps around his finger, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in days. Instead of his fears he simply says, "It's a mistake, but I wanna be happy about it. I am. We both want the kid, we just don't want to be together, and I wish that was okay."

It goes unseen but Jango nods, sitting in the recliner near the crib. There was plenty of reason to chastise the boy, and certainly pages more of it in Qui-Gon's book, but as Jango looked at Obi-Wan he couldn't even begin to rationalize that fight. It was clear by the way he handled Boba that he had made up his mind and that he was already fighting himself and everyone else to be happy about this. He didn't need to fight Jango.

"You can be happy here."

* * *

Anakin graduates from high school in their living room the night before they start packing.

It's just the four of them but that doesn't stop them from getting dressed up and making a night of it. Anakin names himself valedictorian and gives a speech while standing on the dining room table, laughing like their father wasn't giving a speech across town at the real graduation at the same time. Ahsoka had painted his grad cap, a photo of the three siblings that was framed by lights that Anakin had added onto the mortar board. There were little cupcakes decorated in the school's blue and silver, little sprinkles shaped like diplomas. If there's any guilt that haunts Obi-Wan about Anakin not being able to attend his own graduation it's stomped down by countless rounds of Mario Party and pizza rolls. 

It's just the four of them, and it feels quieter than normal without anyone else. It's nice, Obi-Wan admits, even as he and Ahsoka somehow lose to Anakin and Korkie for the third game in a row. There were always going to be times like this if any of them had a say in it, but it was all starting to feel like time might run out. Anakin graduating high school, Obi-Wan going to grad school, Korkie starting pre-k, Ahsoka on track to graduate early. 

It'd be okay because it  _ had to be. _ It'd be okay because they all decided to refuse anything different, and they couldn't be told otherwise.

* * *

To their credit, there had been an impeccable plan in place. 

Whenever Obi-Wan and Bant were together things tended to move smoothly, whether or not Garen was around and whether or not he was down to help. It was something Obi-Wan had almost forgotten, but they fell back into the routine easily once Bant saw him suffering over piles of paperwork and applications. Color-coded binders and late night coffee saw everything start to fall into place, nerves calming when facts and numbers filled out spreadsheets and made the next few moves make  _ sense  _ and feel a lot less daunting. (Garen would later tell them that he  _ did  _ help, serious as he and Korkie stood there covered in various hues of blues and greens.)

The current order of business was packing the apartment up for the more permanent move, a little house just a hair out of the way but more or less in the middle of the spider web that was everyone's separate lives. Ahsoka had called dibs on the attic, heart set on the round window and the slanted roof, while Anakin wanted the basement so that he could have room for all of his projects. Obi-Wan was secretly relieved to have his own room again, and he would feign ignorance about the fact that Bant had added that to the list of qualifications when they were looking at places. (He had argued that he hardly slept as it was, that he had been fairing perfectly fine on the futon. Bant subsequently reminded him he had a boyfriend and there were innocent eyes in the house, and then added it to the list as Obi-Wan sputtered out some half assed reply).

They were halfway through loading up Obi-Wan's car when the rain came, everyone ducking for cover back inside the apartment to wait out the spring shower. 

But, you know they say the best laid plans often go awry and, on a separate but related note, that the best time to nap is during the rain. That's precisely how Cody found them all snoozing in the living room, not a soul stirring when he and Jango walked into the apartment. Anakin was draped over the lone chair, Boga nearly suffocating him as she dozed on his chest. Ahsoka and Bant are asleep sitting up with their backs against the chair, legs splayed out in front of them. In the center of the floor is Obi-Wan, starfished out on the carpet with Korkie tucked into his side and Garen across his legs. A silent exchange of looks was concluded with shrugging of shoulders, a simple  _ fair enough.  _ They hadn't meant to show up early but they weren't one to complain over the others getting some obviously much needed rest, especially not when everything was perfectly lined up. 

They moved quietly, thankful that they hadn't brought the twins along. Everything started to go awry when those two were involved, as boisterous as they were well-meaning. They almost got out completely unnoticed, a few things left as they were deemed landmines to the sleeping parties, but Ahsoka had begun to wake and was aware enough to throw a curious look at the pair. Cody had been in the middle of typing out a text to Obi-Wan explaining the situation when the teen caught his eye, cocking an eyebrow at her. 

_ He needs the sleep,  _ he mouthed, giving a half-hearted shrug. He couldn't quite decipher the look Ahsoka gave him back, but figured he was in the clear when she simply closed her eyes. There was a sure feeling in his chest that Obi-Wan wasn't the only one that needed the rest, the fourteen year old looking so much smaller curled into Bant's side. A memory tugs at his thoughts, Obi-Wan telling him how Ahsoka looked so impossibly like their mother. Ahsoka was too young to remember her but they had the same gentle disposition, laughed in the same key. How the same glint that made his mother look younger seemed to age his younger sister, forever the portrait of a woman she couldn't remember. Cody had always been protective of the little trio, but he couldn't help but feel slightly more responsible for them now. 

He shook the thoughts out of his head when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder, knowing that Jango was right and that they needed to get going before Obi-Wan's fail safe kicked in and he was forced awake after being asleep for longer than fifteen minutes.

* * *

A day and an inordinate amount of pizzas later, everything is in the house and roughly where it needed to be. There were, of course, still boxes of their own stuff that needed to be sorted out, but the furniture was there and they had set up Korkie's room and the kitchen, so truly anything else could wait until tomorrow. 

Most of their friends had headed out for the night, Bant heading back to her place a couple blocks away. Jango, Rex, Fox, and Kix had called it a night, citing the danger of Fives and Echo alone with Boba. Garen and Anakin had disappeared into the basement, clearly excited to get a jump on whatever projects Anakin had planned now that he had all the room to do it. Ahsoka and Barriss had decided to take advantage of Korkie being at Satine's, painting murals in the three year old's room, music softly drifting from where they worked. And that left Obi-Wan and Cody, content to just curl up with each other after the past two days. 

"You're not allowed to move until we graduate." Cody hummed, an arm curling around his boyfriend's waist. A snort in reply, not looking up. "I know there's a lot of us but also, no one likes moving." 

"What about you?

"I'm included in no one, Obi-Wan."

"That's not what I meant." a tired sigh leaves him but he's smiling, and Cody isn't exactly trusting of that. 

"What did you mean?"

"I meant, if you wanted to move. Specifically here, before graduation."

"That's an incredibly vague timeframe." he deadpans, but a forming smile threatens to give him away. 

"Gives us a lot of time though..."

"A box every other week, or when I remember."

"Your brothers would drop everything they were doing to pack your shit and get it here before you could even tell them you were moving out, just to have one less person in the house." 

" _ Ne'johaa _ ." there's no heat behind it, Cody grinning from where his face is hidden behind Obi-Wan's hair. It feels fast after six months, but it feels like them. He knows that he doesn't necessarily want to be anywhere else, that he would have been happy to share the futon in the cramped apartment if it meant he'd be with Obi-Wan. That wasn't, of course, to say that he didn't like everyone in the house. He liked helping Ahsoka with her community organizing, teaching her to find the loopholes and shortcuts that put her ahead of everyone else. Hell, he even liked watching what weird shit Skywalker would come up with. He liked that Korkie tended to speak to him almost exclusively in Mando'a, hilariously serious for a toddler coming up on four. There were even days where he didn't mind Boga, but no one else was allowed to know that. 

He was only minutely aware that he had been silent for a  while, the younger man watching him with a hint of curiosity. The dangerous thought crossed his mind, the one that said he'd just marry him right now if he had the guts to ask. One thing at a time. 

"I guess I wouldn't be opposed to moving in, sometime before graduation."

* * *

There are still moments when Obi-Wan thinks about what would happen if he were to run into Qui-Gon. Would he say anything as the piercing blue gaze ignored the three year old that would surely be happy to see him, as unwarranted as that may be? Would Obi-Wan be able to tell the beginnings of a snide comment targeted at the man whose hand was laced with his? Would Anakin's quick temper flare when he realized what was happening, charging forward before anyone could get a word in edgewise? All of these hypotheticals have the same answer, and it's 'who gives a shit?'

  
He's not going to see their father on this side of town, and the man has too much pride to consider approaching the three children who left him. If there's any closure, it's not anything that Obi-Wan found in the last conversation they had. It's not in the messages he'd received from various old friends from the church three years too late, wondering where he and Ahsoka had gone. Closure wasn't Qui-Gon erased from his mind, but it was the absence of giving a shit of whatever he'd have to say to Obi-Wan or his siblings if they were to meet again. There was healing in a house that buzzed with love, a far cry from the deafening silence of Qui-Gon's. There was some form of closure in hearing Korkie call Jango ba'buir, even if it had been an accident. (Jango states that he didn't cry at that, because why would he? Fox has a photo of that moment, expert analysis shows tears). There was so much good that existed around him and there was no way that could be wrong, and there was no one that could convince him otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ade - children  
> ne'johaa - shut up  
> ba'buir - grandparent
> 
> we made it to the end? i just want to say thank you so much to everyone who stuck around in this little adventure of me attempting to get back into writing. your comments and love have truly made me so happy, and i swear it's the only reason i was able to finish this. i'm so glad other people were able to connect to this.  
> i'm sure this isn't truly the end of the story, i know there are little scenes that i still want to write as one offs, and i hope y'all will stick around for them. if not, that's totally fine and this little world will be around in case you ever wanna circle back.


End file.
